50+ Best Jerry Seinfeld Quotes (2020) Life & Success

Ryan
By Ryan Williams
Jerry Seinfeld Quotes
22 November 2020
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Jerry Seinfeld Quotes: Can you still remember the most popular Sitcom ever made in the history of American TV shows?

Yes, I’m talking about Seinfeld. 

Of course, it starred the most well-known comedian in the world, Jerry Seinfeld, the man himself.

That said, this comedian doesn’t just give us laughs but also his inspiring perspective on  life and success.

Right now, I’m delighted to bring you this collection of the best Jerry Seinfeld quotes.

Are you ready?

Then let’s go…

Entry No 01

“There’s very little advice in men’s magazines, because men don’t think there’s a lot they don’t know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, ‘I know what I’m doing, just show me somebody naked.”

Entry No 02

“It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.”

Entry No 03

“The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it’s so much fun.”

Entry No 04

“A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.”

Entry No 05

“A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.”

Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

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Entry No 06

“Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you’ve got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn’t your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.”

Entry No 07

“Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God’s final word on where your lips end.”

Entry No 08

“I am so busy doing nothing… that the idea of doing anything – which as you know, always leads to something – cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.”

Entry No 09

“There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.”

Jerry Seinfeld Quotes 02 1

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Entry No 10

“People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.”

Entry No 11

“That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.”

Entry No 12

“Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.”

Entry No 13

“A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.”

Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

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Entry No 14

“My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that’s the law.”

Entry No 15

“Men don’t care what’s on TV. They only care what else is on TV.”

Entry No 16

“You can be passionate about anything.”

Entry No 17

“I don’t want to hear the specials. If they’re so special, put ’em on the menu.”

Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

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Entry No 18

“I prefer the old theaters because the audience is… trapped.”

Entry No 19

“Stand-up is hard.”

Entry No 20

“Pay attention, don’t let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box.”

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Entry No 21

“The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines because I always had a car thing.”

Entry No 22

“I like definitive things.”

Entry No 23

“I wrote an article on a new Porsche for ‘Automobile Magazine.’ I knew the editor, and she asked me to write this article. So I’m more proud of that than anything.”

Entry No 24

“The truth is, I had always wanted to be a comedian, but I really didn’t have that kind of personality, and it’s a terrifying thing to say.”

Entry No 25

“Being a good husband is like being a good stand-up comic – you need ten years before you can even call yourself a beginner.”

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Entry No 26

“The Beatles created something that never trailed off. What a gift that was to their fans. If you’re into the Beatles, you loved them from beginning to end.”

Entry No 27

“Taking in a baseball game on TV is also a big treat.”

Entry No 28

“When someone does a small task beautifully, their whole environment is affected by it.”

Entry No 29

 “The greatest thing about being a comedian is knowing other comedians. And you get to talk to them. It’s the most fun.”

Entry No 30

“You know, crankiness is at the essence of all comedy.”

Entry No 31

“Men want to make women happy.”

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Entry No 32

“I love being a dad. I just love it.”

Entry No 33

“Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and it’s never for a good reason, right? You know it’s not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there.”

Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and it’s never for a good reason, right? You know it’s not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there.” – Jerry Seinfeld

Entry No 34

“Men like a ref decision because they just want to get back to the game.”

Entry No 35

Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.”

Entry No 36

“We sold ‘Seinfeld’ all over the world but it was a very specific kind of show. In some countries it went down really well, in others they hated it.”

Entry No 37

“Once you start doing only what you’ve already proven you can do, you’re on the road to death.”

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Entry No 38

“I won’t do something unless I can get at least two or three good laughs out of it. If I can’t, it’s not gonna make the team.”

Entry No 39

“If you go to a bad movie, it’s two hours. If you’re in a bad movie, it’s two years.”

Entry No 40

“I’ll tell you one thing, since I’m married, single people look absolutely ridiculous to me.”

Entry No 41

“Well, Howard Stern has been doing his impression of me for years. It doesn’t really bother me.”

Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

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Entry No 42

“I can walk through a hotel lobby and watch people at the desk and see what they’re doing. People don’t look at me. They don’t even know I’m there.”

Entry No 43

“When you make a TV show, they always say you’re a guest in someone’s home. Online, you’re a guest in someone’s face. So that’s why I try to make it sound and look and feel very inviting and attractive, because I know that I’m in your face.”

“I realized that my success comes from doing the thin“When you make a TV show, they always say you’re a guest in someone’s home. Online, you’re a guest in someone’s face. So that’s why I try to make it sound and look and feel very inviting and attractive, because I know that I’m in your face.”gs I love most”. – Jerry Seinfeld

Entry No 44

“When I jumped off a roof in Cannes in a bee costume, I looked ridiculous. But this is my business; I have to humiliate myself.”

Entry No 45

“Nobody enjoys the ‘little show about nothing’ humor more than me, but that is never the way I look at it.”

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Entry No 46

“I like money, but it’s never been about the money.”

Entry No 47

“You don’t even really need a place. But you feel like you’re doing something. That is what coffee is. And that is one of the geniuses of the new coffee culture.”

Entry No 48

“We’ve fallen into a trap of ever-widening orbits of contact, and there is a total disregard for the present moment.”

Entry No 49

“It takes up enough of my time and interest just working on comedy. I just enjoy it and love doing it.”

Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

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Entry No 50

“You want to do good things, and once you’ve done a couple of good things in a row, you think ‘Well gee, let’s not mess this up.’ But I am lucky at this point that I have something I really love to do, and it completely holds my attention. I never feel frustrated by it.”

Conclusion: 50+ Best Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

So that’s all for now, folks! 

The best of Jerry Seinfeld quotes all rolled into one article for you.

Hope we inspired you today and helped you look to a greener side of life.

What’s your best-loved quote from Seinfeld? 

If you want to know more about this most famous and wealthy comedian, check out Jerry Seinfeld’s Biography, Net Worth, and Memes with bouncemojo.com.

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